If you had the chance to leave your current situation and start your life over completely, would you take it? I may have that chance sooner rather than later. I’ve been trying to get out of this area for a long time. While it would be painful to leave my friends and family, it would be beneficial. I find myself continuously in the same shitty situation with the shame shitty people. I want off the rollercoaster that I put myself on time and time again. Heartache after heartache after heartache I find myself missing pieces. I’ve come to the difficult realization that nobody else is going to help put me back together. This is not humpty dumpty, I need to do that shit myself.
Well….this guy I happen to like a whole lot asked if I’d ever consider moving to another state. Obviously I’m not going to take it totally serious. We aren’t dating and neither of us know if we even want to be in a relationship, let alone with each other. But those insane little wheels n my head started moving, I had the “what if” thought for all of 2 seconds. Plans to see my friends and family every few months, a house, a dog, a yard, and some goddamn peace. I considered leaving by my damn self if I wouldn’t struggle alone so badly. A place where nobody knew my name, my story, my fuckups, nor my previous situations. The thought was there, and I accept it.
Now, what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Should I focus on it and try to manifest a new life far away from every single comfort zone that I’ve ever had? Should I push it deeeeep down into the underbelly of all my random thoughts and concept? Should I just run? As you can see, I have a few options.
All I know is that it’s terrifying and liberating to see my thoughts come to fruition. I’m just not sure what to do with it now. Everything for a reason right?