Introduce yourself? That’s a rather broad topic. I also don’t particularly enjoy talking about myself. What do you want to know? Interests, childhood, career? Why this woman is creating a blog about bullshit? Let’s explore this subject more.
I’m tired. Life has become exhausting, and I’m done with it. I’m not talking about physically exhausting either. My brain is severely fatigued from the amount of bullshit that it consumes on a daily basis. Can you count how many times you’ve been lied to in a day? I’m willing to bet you can’t. Realistically we believe some lies. We’re human beings that survive on connecting with other human beings. We want that connection to be genuine, so we overlook our gut instincts. You could have been lied to all day and not know it. It blows my mind how “Ok” people are with lying all the fucking time. As a single mother running on caffeine, chaos, and cuddles, I’ve given up on correcting people. It’s not even worth the energy to me. I’m literally in my head thinking of a good reason that condones lying. Of course there are different variants in lies and how they impact our relationships. Lying is just a small portion of the bullshit I deal with.
Bills, almost everyone over the age of 18 has them. You get up, you go to work, you get a paycheck, and then poof. It’s gone. The idea reminds me of that little flying money emoji. Sometimes I don’t even get the chance to see the money before it’s been autosucked from my account by someone that I owe money to. Trying to balance the money making side of life and the heart and soul side is difficult as fuck. I wanna spend more time with my kids, but then I don’t make as much money. I wanna make tons of money, but then I have no time with my family and friends. How do you make that decision? The foundation on which we as Americans have built our monetary system is flawed. It’s immoral, unrealistic, and just wrong. How the fuck do we have football players making more money than a doctor? Catching or kicking a ball should not even be compared to saving people’s lives. Think about it. I bet you can find other comparisons that are outrageous. But this goes to show you where we stand. It’s wrong.
Have you ever made a smaller, moodier version of yourself ? I have. I made two of them actually. Boys. It’s a whole nother world with boys. All that shit you thought was gross growing up is now supposed to be cool. Fishing, worms, farts, poop jokes, etc. You get where I’m going, especially if you are a male figure. They can be adorable, reckless, annoying, energetic, and hungry at the same time. It’s a rollercoaster between “I can do it by myself, mom” and “Mom where are you going, I need you”. We’re going to get into the trials and tribulations of motherhood in more of my posts. Raising boys is going to be difficult. But man, is it good to be Queen. They may rub me the wrong way sometimes, but they would do anything for me. They love me when I’m a good mom and when I’m a bad mom. They are my soul providers of those aforementioned cuddles I need to survive. They will never doubt the love that I have for them. In good times and in bad. Forever my babies you’ll be.
I think that’s a pretty good overview of what is to come. But know that there will be something out of the scope of these topics. Somewhere and somehow I will find something else to write recklessly about.
Welcome To Caffeine, Chaos, and Cuddles.